What's about a silly document that can mortally wound you?
Ans. It's a report.
A report, usually found in the dark recesses of the office drawers, is a bundle of A4 size sheets bound together. Unspeakably boring, it has an eternal timeless quality about it. (No matter what, all reports look, sound and smell exactly the same- with immortal lengths.) The defining character of report is that, it can either fatally wound the reader or put them in a dreamless coma. Apart from the daunting length, a report unleashes it's sheathed torturous power on the reader when least expected. This power manifests itself in the form of an infinitely long series of facts, figures and tables. Usually the contents of the report lull you to a dreamless slumber but there's still a hope that you will manage to look alive when your boss comes barging in univited. But, the moment it unleashes a barrage of random figures (under the inconspicous title 'statistical data'), you havn't a prayer of suviving. Especially if you have just had lunch.
It's 2.00pm, a couple of hours have passed since lunch. (Worse still, my bosses have come back from the lunch break.) I am doing the most exciting, exhiliarating, adrenaline fuelled thing imaginable.
' A REPORT ON THE COMPARITIVE STUDY ON RENEWABLE ENERGY AND HYDROCARBON ENGINEERING'
It's a 245 pg report that I have to make and submit by 2.15 pm.
I have managed to slug out my way through 50 pgs. and my eyes are drooping close.
I can see my boss rising from his seat slowly turning towards me to summon me.
Wanted Dead and Alive.
Ans. It's a report.
A report, usually found in the dark recesses of the office drawers, is a bundle of A4 size sheets bound together. Unspeakably boring, it has an eternal timeless quality about it. (No matter what, all reports look, sound and smell exactly the same- with immortal lengths.) The defining character of report is that, it can either fatally wound the reader or put them in a dreamless coma. Apart from the daunting length, a report unleashes it's sheathed torturous power on the reader when least expected. This power manifests itself in the form of an infinitely long series of facts, figures and tables. Usually the contents of the report lull you to a dreamless slumber but there's still a hope that you will manage to look alive when your boss comes barging in univited. But, the moment it unleashes a barrage of random figures (under the inconspicous title 'statistical data'), you havn't a prayer of suviving. Especially if you have just had lunch.
It's 2.00pm, a couple of hours have passed since lunch. (Worse still, my bosses have come back from the lunch break.) I am doing the most exciting, exhiliarating, adrenaline fuelled thing imaginable.
' A REPORT ON THE COMPARITIVE STUDY ON RENEWABLE ENERGY AND HYDROCARBON ENGINEERING'
It's a 245 pg report that I have to make and submit by 2.15 pm.
I have managed to slug out my way through 50 pgs. and my eyes are drooping close.
I can see my boss rising from his seat slowly turning towards me to summon me.
Wanted Dead and Alive.
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